• Cosmos Cooperative
  • Journal
  • Books
  • Conversations
  • Social
  • Join the Co-op

Metapsychosis

Journal of Consciousness, Literature, and Art

  • Archive
    • Features
    • Signal Boost
    • Cultural Consumption
    • Microdoses
    • Podcasts
  • Groups
  • Events
  • Meta
    • About
    • Authors
    • Submissions
    • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Metapsychosis is a project of Cosmos Co-op, a community dedicated to art, consciousness, and culture. Visit our projects through the links below:
    • Cosmos Cooperative
    • Journal
    • Books
    • Conversations
    • Social
    • Join the Co-op
See What You Think About This:

XII — I get flashbacks of war

By
  • John Fellenor
 |  10 Apr 2019
Fiction, Story
"UFOs" by Cristophe Thillier is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

XII
I get flashbacks of war. But I wasn’t there. It disturbs me when I get a flash of a green field or some happy laborers working on the land. Something I understand as a common concern; an ideal that our culture shares. I don’t get glimpses of the future and I worry that time can run backwards and forwards but only up to here. I feel this connect to the rest of the universe that flows through me. Every now and then the connect opens up and it’s all for one. It’s for me! It’s a comfort because it means all those people I left are still here. Then I remember: it’s all an illusion I throw up to make ‘here’ here.

There has to be a point to it; at least, I need a point. So I created this universe. There was nothing here before me. There’s nothing when I’m gone and all the stuff in between is my own creation. I, as creator, determined that I would experience this particular existence with all what I decided to call ‘human values’. I had a get-out clause. I can commit suicide at any time or even get killed or die ‘naturally’ and this current existence ends. I can’t remember what comes next but I don’t have to. When I get there, what comes next will be ready and waiting. I created that too. But the beauty of it is that I programmed in the human values; I committed to them. I avoid dying. I’m not sure why. It sounds like it’s got a lot going for it. I know it has. Apart from the getting there. And the envy of what you won’t get to do or see, once you’ve gone. Somebody said to me once: well, you don’t envy all the stuff that happened before you were born! They’d read a short book on philosophy. And I replied: well, yes I do! I envy every fucking event I never got to take part in. But it’s okay really. I accounted for that too. Bodies are intersections of space and time where time and space do their thing. I threw in the odd paradox here and there. A final adventurous refrain.

Click here to read the next section as submitted by the Author

John Fellenor

John Fellenor is aging on a regular basis and wishes he wasn’t. He’d like to look like Brad Pitt. John rents a small house in Southern England and leads a non-eventful life. He hasn’t climbed Everest, and never will, nor visited any exotic countries. J …

Transmissions

Join the Metapsychosis email list and get our monthly newsletter with everything that's new on the site, plus invitations to upcoming reading groups and events.

Name
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

  • Archive
    • Features
    • Signal Boost
    • Cultural Consumption
    • Microdoses
    • Podcasts
  • Groups
  • Events
  • Meta
    • About
    • Authors
    • Submissions
    • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Metapsychosis is a project of Cosmos Co-op, a community dedicated to art, consciousness, and culture. Visit our projects through the links below:
    • Cosmos Cooperative
    • Journal
    • Books
    • Conversations
    • Social
    • Join the Co-op

Metapsychosis is a project of Cosmos Co-op, a community dedicated to art, consciousness, and culture. We are building a home on the web, with local roots, where people of the Earth can band together to collaborate on creative projects, while contributing to the vision of an evolving planetary society. Visit our projects through the links below:

  • Cosmos Cooperative
  • Journal
  • Books
  • Conversations
  • Social
  • Join the Co-op

Unless otherwise noted, all rights are reserved by the individual authors. Other website content is licensed under Creative Commons: Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0). Site background image by Kai C. Schwarzer, "Eine Frage der Erfahrung" (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)